You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
