I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
True strength comes from lack of pants
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
