I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
