I will die if light touches me.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
