you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
