She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
