I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
