i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
