then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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