You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
