I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
