before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
