I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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