; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
