I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I am one with the molecules
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
