I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
