what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
