This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
