Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
