We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
