We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
