Sponge bath it is.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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