He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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