How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
