Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
