wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
