ya dads aren't the best wingmen
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
