sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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