you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
