Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
