Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
