is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
