I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
