so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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