My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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