ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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