I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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