I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
