it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
