that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
