No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Randomize
