I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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