don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
