I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
she peed on how many people?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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