I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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