Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
