Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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