So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
