well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
