so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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