you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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