That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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