To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
